Work-From-Home Arrangements Could Boost Fertility Rates. Did We Really Need Research to Prove This?

Seven years ago, I walked away from a job that required me to be in the office four days a week when my twins were born. Everyone thought I was crazy…until a year-ish later, when the pandemic came and people saw how much their work/life balance improved when working from home. 

Suddenly, I wasn’t the only mom I knew who was swearing off onsite work. Now, we’re being fed conflicted messages. We’re told we should “have more babies”, yet the things that made motherhood more doable — like remote work arrangements — are being taken away. 

But now, what we’ve all been feeling is laid out clearly in the data: You want more babies? Let us work remotely. 

Recent research indicates that fertility between 2023 and 2025, as well as future planned fertility, was higher among people who work from home at least one day a week, and even higher when both people in a couple work from home.

The phrasing of this may lead you to believe that it's your odds of getting pregnant each try that increase when you work from home (and perhaps it does — stress does play a role in fertility, after all). But I think we need to think deeper about this. Having work flexibility doesn’t just make the prospect of actually parenting easier, it also makes things like attending the never-ending appointments required for fertility testing and care more doable. That could certainly affect a person's ability to get pregnant faster, even if their fertility isn't necessarily "better". 

Beyond that, it's about getting people to actually want to be try, though. Up until now, most research has pointed to things like contraception access, societal shifts, and the rising costs of childcare as the reason for the declining birth rate. And yes, all those things play a role.

But remote work opportunities also play a role here, as evidenced by the data. This isn’t one-size-fits-all, obviously, and the research doesn’t necessarily confirm that fertility and birth rates will skyrocket if people are given more workplace flexibility. It's not just about reproductive rates; it's also about reproductive choice.

Here’s the thing. As important as research is, sometimes it comes down to cultural factors, and sometimes that can’t be measured in the data. The fact of the matter is, we saw how essential workplace flexibility is for working parents through the pandemic, and now with return-to-office mandates being rolled out, that’s being taken away. It’s just another way our system fails to support parents, especially moms. So should we really be surprised when people see this happening and think “you know what? Maybe parenthood isn’t for me right now”.

Because it’s not just about boosting fertility rates. It’s also about boosting support for parents, and in turn making parenthood a more attractive prospect. 

Ask Clara:

"How do return-top-office mandates affect women?"

I Have Complicated Feelings About the Carolyn Bessette Effect

Everyone and their mother is fawning over Carolyn Bessette Kennedy’s iconic, effortless, minimalist ‘90s style…and many of the icon’s biggest admirers weren’t even alive to experience true ‘90s culture.

But those of us who are old enough to remember what the decade truly felt like seem to have some complicated feelings about the Carolyn Bessette effect. I know I do. When I watch Love Story, the show about Bessette’s real life love story with John F. Kennedy Jr., I feel a real sense of nostalgia for the time period…but because I was there, I don’t see it with rose-colored glasses.

So much of the Carolyn Bessette effect is about the time period as opposed to just the woman’s style (which was, to be clear, fabulous). There’s a sense of longing for something we can’t quite get back. 

There was a simplicity to ‘90s culture that was reflected in the style: Not everything was hyper trendy and there wasn’t this need to define your aesthetic. There also wasn’t the intense pressure of plastic surgery, Botox, and social media filtering…and so we had the privilege of growing up with expressive, character-filled beauty.

But let’s not pretend there weren’t other problematic beauty standards in the ‘90s. Carolyn Bessette became iconic in large part because she fit the mold: Tall, thin, blonde, white. We were told, through subtle and overt messages, that this was the only way to be beautiful as a woman. The standards then were also incredibly exclusive, though arguably in a different way than they are now.

The Carolyn Bessette effect invites us to look back on how our ideas about what an ‘it girl’ should be have shifted…for better and for worse. It sheds light on how the one thing that hasn't changed is this: We’ve always demanded that women fit into this narrow ideal. 

The Carolyn Bessette effect is all about longing for simple, natural, minimalist aesthetic…which feels impossible in 2026, when the pressure to do the most in the name of beauty, to be constantly on top of an ever-changing trend cycle, and to attempt every wellness hack under the sun loom large. 

People may be idolizing the late icon now, but anyone who is watching Love Story knows that wasn’t always the case. Even she was picked apart mercilessly. Because while we no longer have the simplicity of the ‘90s and the minimalist style it inspires, what we still have is a culture that expects too much of women…and punishes them too easily. That hasn't changed one bit.

Ask Clara:

"How do beauty standards change over time?"

Allergy Fatigue is a Thing and I'm Learning That The Hard Way

Winter is officially over and I am thrilled about that. But here's what I'm less thrilled about: The onset of allergy season. Yesterday we had beautiful warm weather for half of the day (before a torrential downpour started, of course), but my son and I both found ourselves unable to fully enjoy the sunshine we'd been waiting for for so long.

I typically only have a day or two of allergy symptoms every year. But when those allergy days hit? Oh man, they hit. I'm miserable for 24-ish hours, with itchy eyes, a super runny nose, headaches, and just a general feeling of…blah. Yesterday I was so confused about what I was feeling and I told my husband I almost felt fluish — I was just so exhausted and lethargic. First I wondered if I was coming down with something viral. And then I decided to hit up my trusty friend Google.

Apparently, allergies can do more than make your eyes itch and your nose run. According to material from the Cleveland Clinic, allergy fatigue is a real thing. Your immune system is working overtime to respond to those allergens, and that can cause that sense of exhaustion. It's not surprising that I, like so many others, struggle to distinguish allergy symptoms from cold and flu symptoms. According to the material, your body produces cytokines, which are proteins released by the immune system, when dealing with allergies, just like it does when you're fighting off a cold, a virus, or bacteria.

As exhausted as I felt yesterday, I've also been sleeping poorly because of the discomfort of it all. That's the frustrating catch 22 of it all: It's hard to sleep when your nose is runny, yet your body is craving rest even more than usual. Brain fog is also a thing that happens, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Can confirm.

I'm new to the allergy game, so I am still learning how to manage my symptoms (and like I said, I rarely experience allergies and hope it stays that way), but if you're dealing with them, be sure to chat with a doctor to devise a plan that can work for you.

Ask Clara:

"What is allergy fatigue?"

A New Study Explains Why Women Are More Susceptible to Prolonged Pain

If you were to ask me to explain why women tend to experience more prolonged periods of pain, I'd have a lot of theories. Women, after all, carry pregnancies (which don't just affect your body for nine-ish months, FYI)...and we tend to neglect our own needs in order to meet everybody else's, we face wild amounts of medical gaslighting...the list goes on.

But new research reveals that there may be another reason at work. According to the study, which was published in Science Immunology, women do experience slower pain resolution and are more prone to developing chronic pain (no, it's not just in your head). The study also points out that the reason for this is unclear (which, you know, tends to be the case when it comes to matters of women's pain). 

The researchers observed male and female mice to learn more about why male mice tend to have quicker pain resolution, which has been shown in previous research. What they found when comparing these animal findings to data sets was that the reason for this may be molecular. 

The researchers observed that males were more likely to produce a molecule called interleukin-10+ (IL-10). In both sexes, the pain wasn’t resolved when IL-10 was deleted. Pain can certainly have a hormonal link, which may explain why women report greater pain during certain points in their cycles (menstrual migraines, anyone?), and hormonal differences between men and women could be at the root of all this. After traumatic injuries, men reported faster pain resolution and higher production of IL-10…which may be signaled by androgens, which are a group of sex hormones. 

Listen, this research doesn’t give us all the answers, but it does validate the idea that women experience greater pain and have a harder time getting rid of said pain. As always, knowledge is power and information opens doors. So maybe these findings can give the medical community new ways to better understand and address women’s pain.

Ask Clara:

"Why is women's pain dismissed?"

Is Spring Actually a Better Time to Make a New Years Resolution?

If you’ve been here for a while, you know I’m not into New Year’s resolutions. To me, they just feel like they put way too much pressure on self-improvement rather than life improvement. And in the dreary month of January, when I’m coming off of the exhausting marathon that is the holiday season, when the days are short and the months feel endless, the last thing I want to do is commit to going to the gym everyday or whatever.

But maybe we’ve had the concept of resolutions wrong all this time. Obviously, a new year does feel like a great time for a fresh start. But spring is also a time for new beginnings, a season of rebirth. And maybe…that makes spring the perfect time for a resolution instead.

This was brought to my attention by the late James Van Der Beek, who made a video arguing for spring to be considered our fresh start. “Why are we celebrating a new year in the dead of winter? Why are we celebrating new beginnings at a time when nature rests?” he said. “The time to celebrate a new beginning and a new you and a new resolution is spring.”

There’s research to support this, and a piece from The Conversation sums it up really well. It all begs the question…should we all just embrace the idea of March resolutions instead of New Year’s resolutions?

Of course, you don’t need a massive cultural shift to decide to do this on your own. You can wake up tomorrow and resolve to meet up with a friend once a week, or hit a step goal everyday, or take up a new hobby. And honestly? There’s a chance you may have more success — early spring just feels like a much more motivating time than January, you know? The only drawback is, you won’t have that community feel of everyone else committing to a resolution at the same time.

At the end of the day, it’s your call to make, (though if you want to mobilize an early spring resolution shift for us to all take up together, I’m all for it!).

But whether you do them in January or March or some other time entirely, I believe resolutions should serve you, not stress you out. If you tried committing to daily gym sessions and you simply couldn’t find the time for it last January, chances are, it’s still going to feel like an overwhelming goal in the spring. But committing to waking up a bit earlier everyday? That may actually feel a little bit easier now that the sun is up a bit earlier.

Ask Clara:

"Should I make a New Year's resolution in the spring?"

Does Anyone Actually Have Time for a 10k Daily Step Goal?

I love to walk. Love it. I’d take three walks a day if I had the time, knocking out 15k steps each and every day. But I, like most people, don’t have the time for that.

On social media, you see a lot of narratives about discipline and fitness and lifestyle and how everyone has the same 24 hours in a day (we don’t, actually). People say that anyone who claims they can’t devote themselves to fitness, or healthy eating, or yes, hitting step goals is “lazy” or “making excuses".

Creators in this space love to say they’re “not motivated, they’re disciplined” — and often when you call out the specific scenarios that help these creators achieve their goals (like: “Fitness is your full-time job”), they’ll frequently invalidate that claim. “I made time for this even when I had a desk job,” they’ll say.

But here’s the thing: There are so many factors that affect what people truly have time for. And while the 10k steps a day narrative is a popular one, I’d argue that getting in these steps is the most time-consuming wellness goal of all. It’s not always impossible to squeeze in a 30-minute workout or bake some chicken and veggies for dinner, but 10,000 steps require a lot of time devoted…and it’s time most people simply don’t have.

Yes, there are hacks available: You can invest in a walking pad to get more steps in when it’s too cold to walk outdoors. You can park really far away from every store when you’re running errands. You can take your kids out in the stroller and pound the pavement while they nap. These can help, but they can’t necessarily get you there every single day. And that’s okay.

As we’re finally starting to discuss, the 10k steps idea is really a myth. This isn’t a magical number, but of course, hitting it each day means you’ve done a good bit of walking. So if a daily 10k step goal resonates with you, if it feels like a reasonably challenging goal, and if you love the way you feel after consistent 10k step days…that’s amazing! But if you simply don’t have the time for this type of step goal? Also amazing,

Social media has us feeling like wellness is one-size-fits-all, and that if you can’t make these trendy goals work for your life, you’re failing and will never be healthy. Reject that, sis. What works for some of us won’t work for all of us, and the 10k (or 15k or 20k or whatever you’re seeing online) isn’t a magical solution…and it isn’t right for everyone.

Ask Clara:

"Should I walk 10,000 steps a day?"

This Clip of Anne Hathaway Shutting Down Sexist Questions Will Infuriate You (Hopefully for the Right Reason)

If you're a millennial, you remember the days of Hathaway hate — when the mere mention of Anne Hathaway's name could send groups of people into diatribes about how "unlikable" the talented actress is.

Not surprisingly, the pit of Hathaway's likability came around the same time as the peak of her professional success. Because doesn't the likability paradox always go that way? 

So why is all the relevant now, a full 15-ish years after the height of Hathway hate? Well, I just came across a clip of the actress answering a series of incredibly sexist, invasive questions, and I was immediately reminded of how much the public panned this poor woman. And for what? She didn't do anything wildly offensive or commit a crime. When I saw this video and it all made sense: So much of the Hathaway hate was a byproduct of the star's refusal to let sexist BS fly.

Hathaway stands up for herself. And let's face it, we have a hard time with women who don't roll over and allow the world to walk all over them. In this clip, it's so obvious. The video features a series of interview questions directed towards Hathaway, Many are about her weight and her body. The zinger for me is when Hathaway is asked about a wardrobe malfunction she suffered.

"I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of someone in a vulnerable moment and rather than delete it and do the decent thing, sells it... And I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants," she said. And then, like a consummate professional, she steered the conversation away from her body and her humiliation and back to her work, which was the whole reason for her press appearance.

MIC DROP MOMENT. Listen, today we'd probably applaud this moment, but when you look back and think about the "unlikable" moniker Hathaway received, and then you go back and watch interviews, it all becomes painfully clear: People hated this woman because she advocated for herself, publicly and unabashedly. She didn't let the invasive questions slide. She didn't laugh off the body-shaming. She moved the needle around how we speak to women and what we demand they share. And that made her the villain, according to many — but to us? It makes her a role model.

Ask Clara:

"What is the likability paradox?"

Infant Sleep Scores are Just Another Way We Stress Out New Moms

I became a mom in 2018, shortly after the tech boom in the baby care space. 

There were bassinets that auto-rocked your baby, heart rate monitors that strapped into those tiny newborn feet, rockers that stimulated the motion of a mother's womb...and so on and so forth. I totally fell for it, too. I bought the gadgets and I felt a level of gratitude for the modern-day conveniences of new motherhood.

But like...have we gone too far? Because now there's literally a way to get your baby's sleep score via AI thanks to Nanit's new offerings. And I don't know....it just feels like one more thing that'll stress out already exhausted and overwhelmed new parents. 

I find myself wondering if, by making new parenthood so modernized, we're simply making life harder and more stressful for new parents. And, of course, when I say "new parents", I mostly mean new mothers. They are, after all, the ones being fed constant ads and reminders of these products. 

It's natural for new moms to feel like they need to invest in all the things in order to make the transition to parenthood more seamless, or even to give your children the best start in life. It's also natural to seek validation that we're doing it right, to crave tangible representation of our performance in motherhood...and, in an attempt to do that, to seek out this type of data. But the truth is, the things that can make new parenthood easier aren't high-tech. They're things like paid leave, proper postpartum healthcare, accessible mental health care, a village, adequate rest, and true human support. We don't need every new product or an app for everything or all the metrics. 

To me, having your baby's sleep score feels the intersection of all those things: Too much tech, too many products, and too many metrics ‚ and if you know me, you know I LOVE information! But do we really need to know our baby's sleep score, or is that just one more data point for us to (no pun intended!) lose sleep over? Perhaps I see it more clearly now, seven years into motherhood, but I feel like it's the latter.

Ask Clara:

"Are mothers prepared for postpartum?"

We're Chopped, Fam: A Shocking Percentage of Gen Z Thinks Wives Should 'Obey' Their Husbands

A recent study found something shocking: Nearly one-third of Gen Z men who responded to the survey believe women should “obey” their husbands.

Yes, obey. Not respect. Not love. Not trust. Obey. Their. Husbands.

The wildest part of all this? Gen Z men were found to be far more likely to hold these old-school ideas about decision-making power in a marriage than their baby boomer counterparts. So much for progress, right?

These findings come from IPSOS and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s Business School, King’s College London, and were released to align with — you can’t make this stuff up — International Women’s Day. It included a survey of 23,000 people in 29 countries….so yeah, that’s pretty comprehensive.

The findings are pretty alarming: Aside from the “obey your husband” of it all, the research also revealed that nearly a quarter of the men surveyed believe women should not appear too independent or self-sufficient, and 21 percent think women should never initiate sex (yes, really).

More than half of the Gen Z men surveyed believe they’re “expected to do too much” in the name of equality, and honestly that doesn’t even surprise me because…*gestures all around*.

Listen, anyone who spends any amount of time on TikTok knows that this type of ethos is out there. There’s the manosphere, there’s red pilling, and as a result, men are feeling some type of way about the role they’re expected to play in our world. And unfortunately, far too many women are carrying water for the patriarchy and boldly declaring themselves anti-feminist (all while profiting off of those messages, which is kind of the whole point of feminism). But instead of talking about how patriarchy is actually harming both men and women (are we ready for that conversation yet?), we’re sliding back into these weird, retrograde ideas about gender roles in relationships. And it’s….the exact opposite of progress. 

Anyway, as the kids say…we’re chopped, fam. We’re chopped. 

Ask Clara:

"How does the patriarchy harm men?"

Pandemic Nostalgia is a Thing. Am I a Monster for Feeling It?

It’s been six years since the world as we knew it changed entirely thanks to a global pandemic. Like most people, I miss parts of our pre-pandemic world (we’ve gotten a little too socially awkward, yaknow?), yet I also think this world-altering virus changed some things for the better.

But here's my little secret: From time to time, I miss those earliest days of the pandemic....and I used to be ashamed to admit that because, well...it wasn't exactly the happiest of times. When I recently dared to admit my pandemic nostalgia to a friend, she confided that she felt it too. 

To be very, very clear: I don’t miss the way the world felt, that sense of doomsday every day. I don’t miss the darkness or the fear or terrible news cycle or the death and destruction the pandemic brought upon so many people.

But I do miss how slowly time moved. I miss not feeling rushed all the time. I miss spending so much time with my family. 

Of course, it’s easy to look back at the pandemic and only remember the coziness of being quarantined, and blocking out all the anxiety we faced. When I think back to the quarantine days, I remember playing on the floor with my kids. I don’t immeadiately remember wiping down my groceries and feeling my heart sink with every news update, but that was the reality of that time.

But even with all the paranoia, I  think those pandemic days showed us that there’s a better way to live — with less hustle and less chaos. My husband, who works a demanding job with lots of travel, was suddenly home all the time, and the way he bonded with our children was indescribable. So many other families experienced that too.

We spent our days making food from scratch, snuggling with our kids, and resting, and just being grateful for the gifts of life and health. It’s a privileged stance to take, I know: So many people were forced to go back to in-person work and didn’t have the slow, cozy experience I did. 

I took so many lessons from the pandemic: The value of spending time doing nothing with the people I love. The fragility of life. The essential nature of unpaid labor. The importance of listening to experts…and the danger of failing to do so. It was a pivotal time in world history, and it forced us to reset on every level. 

And while I don’t want to go back to the darkness and turmoil of it all, I do think back fondly to those early days. For me, and I imagine many of you, it felt like the forced pause I desperately needed.

Ask Clara:

"How did the pandemic change our behaviors?"