Trying to conceive is not for the faint of heart.
Just ask Seetal Savla, a Berlin-based fertility patient advocate who, after several unsuccessful IVF cycles, finally became pregnant using donor eggs in spring 2021. Savla documented her entire cycle on Instagram under the handle @SavlaFaire, including a 13-part video diary series in collaboration with Ferring Pharmaceuticals “to give people a deeper insight into the physical and emotional aspects of this rollercoaster experience,” she tells Rescripted.
According to Jessica Ryniec, M.D., a double board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at CCRM Fertility in Boston, “There are several reasons why an intended parent would need or want to use donor eggs, including advanced reproductive age, poor egg quality or embryo quality on prior attempts at IVF with own eggs, diminished ovarian reserve or premature ovarian insufficiency, genetic condition that the intended parent doesnt want to pass on, or if the intended parent/parents do not have eggs (like trans females or males).”
Savla reveals in the first of her Ferring Pharmaceuticals video diaries that her decision to pursue egg donation was due to “the poor quality and quantity” of her eggs.
Referring to her TTC journey as a “rollercoaster experience” couldn’t be more appropriate: her donor-egg pregnancy ended in miscarriage. But several months later, Savla and her husband got the surprise of their lives when they discovered that she was pregnant. Below, Savla shares her story with Rescripted, with Dr. Ryniec offering clinical insights on both donor egg miscarriage and surprise pregnancy.
From joy to heartbreak
Through her Instagram, audiences followed along as Savla discussed her decision to pursue donor conception, cautiously announced her pregnancy, shared scan-related scares, and then revealed “the heartbreaking news that it was all over.”
Unfortunately, donor egg pregnancies aren’t immune to miscarriage: Dr. Ryniec says the risk of miscarriage with donor eggs is related to the age of the donor, and is generally about 10-20%. But it’s also important to remember that “donor eggs miscarry for the same reasons that other miscarriages occur,” explains Dr. Ryniec. Pregnancy losses are “commonly related to aneuploidy (chromosomal abnormalities), infection, structural issues of the uterus or cervix, autoimmune conditions, or lifestyle factors like smoking,” she says.
For those pursuing in-vitro fertilization (with or without donor eggs), Dr. Ryniec recommends doing a “thorough evaluation prior to transfer” as the best way to reduce the risk of miscarriage. It’s during this time that structural issues of the uterus or cervix can be addressed, as well as “identifying and controlling other medical conditions prior to pregnancy, and addressing poor lifestyle habits.”
Despite being so open about her miscarriage on Instagram, Savla tells Rescripted that there was still a lot more to her story, and it’s only now that she feels ready to share the intense feelings of that devastating day.
“From the outside looking in, you would think that I shared everything about this cycle,” she says. “But I didn’t. I wrote the below text four months after I miscarried. To this day, I don’t know why I wrote it. The words just flew to my fingertips when I opened a blank Note on my phone. Part of me wanted to post it on Instagram, for these raw words to be recognized as part of my journey, but something held me back. They felt too personal, too real, too upsetting for myself and others.
“So, I left them in that note, letting them slip lower and lower as new, happier ones were created.” And happier words were indeed created, as Savla became pregnant later that year and delivered a baby girl in 2022. Now ready to release her words of sorrow, Savla tells Rescripted that “although they describe a terrifying, painful moment in my life, they also remind me of my ongoing resilience.”
Sharing the raw truth
The following is the Note Savla wrote on her phone four months after losing her donor egg pregnancy. Be advised that it contains graphic descriptions of pregnancy loss:
No one has seen the photos or videos of our miscarriage. Not even my husband, Neil. I didn't know then what made me capture one of the most traumatising experiences of my life on camera, but I felt compelled to do it.
In hindsight, part of the reason is because I had recorded the major moments of this cycle and subsequent pregnancy, so I thought the unexpected expulsion of pregnancy tissue and heavy bleeding deserved the same treatment. An utterly undesirable outcome, but still part of the story.
Another reason was because I was alone: I wanted proof that it had happened. When I undressed in the bath at home, I put my blood-soaked pad and the palm-sized clot weighing it down into a plastic container. It felt wrong to flush the tissue down the toilet, so I left it on a ledge next to the bath.
A second, larger clot then landed in the bath with a thud. I stared at it for a while, wondering whether to push it down the plughole or pick it up and drop it into the container.
I was simultaneously horrified and amazed by what my body had expelled. Shoving it down the drain seemed disrespectful, so I crouched down and scooped it up. The tissue felt heavy and smooth in my hands, covering my fingers in blood, the smell of which was nauseating.
When Neil came home that evening, I wanted to show him the contents of the container. I didn't want to be the only person to have seen them. He refused. I didn't understand why at the time, but now I do. Why traumatise him unnecessarily? If I had insisted, how could he have comforted me when seeing the remnants of our pregnancy would have broken him?
So, I took the tub, went out into the courtyard, and binned it. What was left of our embryo's existence lay among general household waste. Thousands of pounds, dreams, and hearts wasted, crushed, and broken.
Surviving donor egg miscarriage
Although Savla and her husband still had two frozen embryos available, they “decided that we had reached our physical, emotional, mental, and financial limits,” she says. They ultimately donated the embryos to research projects, which, Savla says, “indirectly benefited others in the long term.”
But the last thing Savla expected, after multiple rounds of IVF and this shattering donor egg pregnancy loss, was to learn that she was expecting a baby in late 2021. “Nine nerve-wracking months followed, filled with scans during which we held our breath and hoped hard,” she says. “Defying all the odds, I had a textbook pregnancy and our daughter was born in summer 2022.”
So, is there even a medical explanation for Savla’s surprise pregnancy? “The explanation is mainly that of chance!” says Dr. Ryniec. “It's often misunderstood that infertility is the complete inability to get pregnant when in fact, it is more commonly subfertility.” (Subfertility is defined as “any form of reduced fertility with prolonged time of unwanted non-conception.”)
“The chance of pregnancy is greater than 0% unless the fallopian tubes are blocked or there is no sperm or egg,” continues Dr. Ryniec. “So while it is less common, pregnancies can occur even if prior fertility treatments have failed.”
Final words of support
“I wish I could travel back in time and talk to the woman who felt completely crushed by her loss,” Savla tells Rescripted. “Holding her tight, I would tell her that it won’t always hurt this much. She will heal and move forward. Her words will then give others the hope they need.”
For those reading this article who can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, Savla knows that feeling all too well: “We often wonder how people cope in these difficult circumstances,” she says. “We often say that we would be incapable of pulling through the way they did. But we are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. This grueling experience taught me that it’s possible to rise after hitting rock bottom. It’s messy, complicated, dark, ugly, and confusing, but it is possible. We slowly learn to live with grief, and to allow joy to co-exist with it.”
As someone who knows both the lows of loss and the highs of motherhood, Savla offers these parting words of advice: “For anyone who is living with loss, I hope that you are also able to welcome moments of joy into your daily life without feeling guilty. You deserve them, and enjoying them doesn’t mean you love your baby or babies who couldn’t stay any less.”
Sarene Leeds holds an M.S. in Professional Writing from NYU, and is a seasoned journalist, having written and reported on subjects ranging from TV and pop culture to health, wellness, and parenting over the course of her career. Her work has appeared in Rolling Stone, The Wall Street Journal, Vulture, SheKnows, and numerous other outlets. A staunch mental health advocate, Sarene also hosts the podcast “Emotional Abuse Is Real.” Subscribe to her Substack, the Critical Communicator, and follow her on Instagram, BlueSky, or Threads.